Dating Deal Breakers
I was talking to one of my girlfriends yesterday about a guy I have recently come to know. She was teasing me because I was raving about him and asked me how its been dating him. I told her we weren’t dating, that we were just friends. So she teases me some more and tells me to spill the beans and give her the gossip. I tell her there’s nothing to tell, we really are just friends. When she realizes that I’m serious, she then asks me why aren’t we dating if he’s so great and I tell her, it will never happen because of one thing – he’s not taller than me. She looks at me like I’m an alien with a third eye on my forehead and tells me I’m crazy. But I explain to her that that is my one and only deal breaker with men. See, I don’t have a type. Now, there are things in men that I find physically attractive, but its not written in stone. I’m not a “body snob” when it comes to men. I’m attracted to all kinds of men. The only things that anyone I have dated has had in common is that they were men, and they were black. I’m cool with getting to know men in that way, except for the height thing. They don’t have to be giants, just taller than me… I’ve always been this way. Plus, I’m short to begin with (5′5″), so a man shorter than me? Nah-uh…
My girlfriend thinks I’m crazy, and she told me so – over and over and over again. She doesn’t understand why I would give up the opportunity to be with someone really great because of his height. She says other than the obvious stuff like disrespect, violence, trustworthyness, etc. she doesn’t see why I wouldn’t give it a go.
I have to admit, I have been thinking about what she said. But at the same time, I’m still uncomfortable about it because it’s not something I’ve ever done. The thought of it is still kinda weird to me. He is a really great guy and all, but… I don’t know.
So tell me, what are your dating deal breakers?
July 2, 2008 at 1:49 pm
oh boy. as a height-challenged guy myself i gotta admit your dealbreaker sucks lol. the unfortunate thing is that something like height is irreversible, as opposed to the other potential dealbreakers, like weight/smoking/drinking/abusive, etc. but you def have the right to be selective!
July 2, 2008 at 8:39 pm
You are so right, JNez. But it’s just one of those things I’ve always been uncomfortable with. Like I said, he’s a great guy so I’m gonna think about it. Besides, I’m a shorty too. LOL
July 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm
D…I think you already know what my response is going to be…but here it goes anyway… I think to let someone go because of height is like letting someone go because they have long fingers, or big feet…I understand your hesitation, but as you said before, he’s a wonderful person.
I agree with JNez height is something that can’t be changed. So, if you decide to go for it, just know that he can’t get taller…lol
July 2, 2008 at 11:51 pm
I think I would agree that lack of height would be a deal breaker. I am also short (barely 5′1” without heels!) so when I think of a guy being shorter than me I think “how much shorter can you get?!”
For me other deal breakers are lack of intelligence, hygiene, and politeness. I want someone who can keep me interested with something else besides his physique.
July 3, 2008 at 2:51 am
Food. I can’t date a picky eater.
It feels kind of wrong to discriminate over seemingly silly things. But we need to be honest with ourselves and our preferences. And we ought to like our significant other.
July 6, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Hmmmm probably this piece of metal on my left hand.
July 8, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I have the same issue with height. I am 5′9″. I always invision bopping them on the head. Plus, I like heels, so that always makes me at least 6′. Plus you have to think about what wedding pictures would look like. Think about Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes and how she either had to bend at the knees or they altered the pics
July 8, 2008 at 10:21 pm
simplyRik, you’re a mad man. LOL Deltapurl, I see you feel my pain. It’s weird. I saw him today, and it wasn’t as bad as I remember. Hmmm… Rethinking my rant, and considering moving forward. Maybe.
July 10, 2008 at 3:34 am
I mean like WTF. As guys we have to watch our weight, have nice shoes, worry about our hair and now we have to be concerned about our height. This is not cool. I suffer from self-esteem issues already damn it! Now I have one more thing to add to my list of short-comings (no pun intended, of course), I am not 6 feet tall. I know you are going to to get all semantic on me and be like you didn’t say he had to be 6 feet, but I beat you to it.
Where is it normal for someone to give up someone who treats them right and adores them… someone they can’t wait to see for something as trivial as height? She said you are crazy… I see her crazy and raise her a CRAAAAAAAAZY!
July 10, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I’ve dated guys shorter than me and their insecurity drove me nuts so that is why I cannot do it again. I gave the short guys a chance but sorry. I love you boo! I understand how you feel @D_Rox.
July 24, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I am 5′11″ girl and let me tell you in my past I have dated one guy who was as tall as me…. still till this day I have yet to date someone taller than me. Not a big deal to me… My biggest thing when I was younger was… “HELLO” my eyes are up here… But as I got older I kinda got used to it. If you’re anything like me I love when (the only one guy I dated that was as tall as me) would hug me from behind and kiss the base of my neck or nibble on my ear… GIRL… Just because they are short let me tell you we made things work for us just like any relationship. The short guys would stand on the sidewalk and I would stand on the street…. that was just an example hehe. Here is what it comes down to. When its time to bump uglies height is not an issue everything just fits! Well that is if he is not umm….. Not so adequate in that department but height shouldn’t stop you from enjoying a little fun ;o) This should fall into “age aint nothin but a number” kinda scenario lol! but that is just my 2cents.
(hugs) Hope it all works out.
August 9, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Hi there,
Just stumbled upon your site, and I like it. Keep on doing what you do!
My deal breaker is men with bad teeth. I’m not to teeth snob-but I’ts a must. love a man with good teeth. Pretty, white, straight and healthy looking.